my mind wreaks with a plethora of emotions, thoughts, anger, frustration and the like.
i have changed. totally.
my ego has grown beyond measure. i'm no longer the kid i was in high school. nor am i the same person that i was a year ago. seven months ago i began to change. i lost the naivety that once was. the ability to love blindly and trust foolishly. its gone. never to return possibly.
mentally: i see the world differently. i see everything differently.
nothing is the same.
nothing is worth keeping. as of this moment i have decided to drop everything.
i havent the hope nor strength nor faith that anything will work in my favor. thus, i've quit making plans. nothing will go accordingly. i will only make action.
with that being said--i'm leaving georgia. i'm going to start anew in a new land. on a new coast.
i'm leaving everything behind. friends from high school. family. those who claim to love me. all of it.
none of it has done anything but hold me back---so i break the chains and walk into my destiny.
i have enjoyed these past few weeks, though. freedom from obligation of people. phone calls. text. not having or needing to answer to a single person.
i have lived for me and me only, most nights. and after my move, i will continue to do the same.
no one has shown themselves deserving of my constant struggle. thus, i cease.
i had planned to stay and fight for what i loved. this city. that person. such.
but i've had a change of heart.
"you dont equal school or work or any of the other stuff i'm trying to accomplish," is what i was told by someone i sacrificed going back to howard sophomore year for.
its a 10/90 love. well i'm taking my and walking.
i'm buying my ticket as we speak.
