change: the final chapter

i've been dealing with this issue a lot lately.

you know, being gone then coming home to find everything different.

but i'm, as they say, "over" that.

this is the internal aspect of that situation.

outward change forces inward same.

i can feel my innards shifting. 

my brain churning. 

my soul settling. 

i know i'll be in this place (this emotional sanctum) for some time.

and i'm at ease with it.

at ease, as if that's even a real phrase.

i look back. 

and i see many faces.

friends, lovers, exes, wing-men

and i look forward...but i don't see any of them there.

(there are very few exceptions)

people are like money:

they go as fast as they come 

and when you're buried, they won't be in the casket with you.

i could, quite possibly, be just in one of my melancholy funks

or introspective evaluations. 

but at 1:27 on the twenty first day of the first month of my twenty-first year of life,

i finally feel as though everything before this point has grown to be

irrelevant. 

(a day later)

cleaning my room today, i found a picture. 

when i received such picture, it held such meaning. 

it was a dictionary of emotion between the two objects in the picture. 

it has since faded into a hardly recognizable blur, one would have to know what the picture was previously of to know what it now is. 

it did not weather the storm. 

i plan on giving the picture and frame back to the person who gave it to me, along with another item i owe them, for symbolic reason. 

maybe its proof for them. maybe its closure for me.