somethings must happen.
many things cannot be changed though we try to avoid them
if i had three wishes they would be:
1) to be able to materialize an endless supply of money from fingertips. ((with which i would buy everything i need to life comfortable and provide the stability and security that she desires))
2)that i could obtain super speed that equivalent of the Flash's [who ran to the end of time] and flight ((with which i would don a suit and mask and save the world from itself))
3) to ses the genie or whatever free like in Alladin and have him use his powers to help me forever cause we're friends now.
seeing as how life will never happen like that..im stuck looking for jobs and worrying about meeting ends...FOREVER.
i often wonder why people are so afraid to die, when living is just a big pointless hassle. learn, work, pay bills, work, pay bills, work and die. is that all i have to look forward to? im not excited
if i could change any one thing about my current situation it would be that im not back at Howard. i often find myself flustered at the fact that she is sometimes too busy to entertain me. i have come to realize that its not her being too busy...but me not being busy enough. if i was at howard, i would be just as if not more busy and wouldnt be so stressed. then again, its possible that we woulda fell apart if i woulda returned.
OR
i would bring her back home...
i have acquired my license and enrolled in a school which has been enough to take the burden of my family off of my back. they seem to be proud of me and have been easier to live around. the tension has eased. driving really eases me. all i need is a great driving cd and a place to go.
i feel more alone than ever. all friends have left for college so my driving ability is almost unneeded. its frustrating. no one is here...no one has time for me...its just me.
i need to be on a campus.
i wish...so much was different...
though things are better...im still miserable.
