its something im going to have to get used to. people have lives and i cant always be a part of them.
maybe i ask too much from the people i want to be with the most. maybe im too demanding. maybe i shouldnt get upset when i dont get a call or text. but when thats all i have and i cant see that person..am i so wrong?
when texting has to get me through my day and calls through my night, am i wrong for being upset when they dont come?
i spoke to a few friends about this...this was the advice i got
"Find some new friends. find someone to take her place when she decides to go m.i.a. or out or whatever."
"Find a girl on the side"
"just dont sweat it."
"take a few steps back, dont let her be such a major part of your life. that way you cant miss her as much."
"take a break."
"i told you this was gonna happen...just let it go."
obviously none of these were the help i needed.
i could use some new friends...
she came home not too long ago. we had a great time, even through the problems. if there was ever a moment that i knew i loved her, it was when i sat downstairs with her mother's halfway drunken ex waiting for her to walk downstairs. and when she did..my entire world stopped. she wore a white dress with blue, red, and yellow flowers. her light makeup was flawless. her hair had grown some hardly brushing he shoulders and some sections had a few crinkles. her cleavage was perfect, not too much and just enough. the sun shined on her just right...like a sign from God.
speaking of...i believe that he has been trying to reach me. it seems like his name randomly comes in throughout my day. or i might notice something that one might say is..."divine". i think (in a grandma way of thinking) that all the problems between me and my girlfriend might be the devil trying to ruin something meant for greatness.
i digress. my mood has changed since i started writing but the fact remains that while she is out drinking/partying and my other "friends" are off in their college lifes...i am here. i am alone. no lonely moments. i am truly and utterly alone. and i hate it.
((i hate this post. but i needed to update))
