realism.

tarrance sits and recaps on a conversation with his bestfriend.

he recalls the hurtful but very true words of this ever wise and ever rational person.

"tarrance, you have to see things as they are. take your damn shades off and stop seeing the world in a darker tint BUT keep everything in perspective. realistically, most things wont go your way. realistically, people are going to hurt you, disappoint you, and kill you on the inside. you know this. so why the hell are you so surprised when it keeps happening.? records show where the majority of your pain comes from. records show that you keep opening yourself up to it. look, its ok to let people in. its ok to be human. but only a fool makes the same mistake multiple times. you're a fool. a damned fool at that. i'm not telling you to let anyone go. but i am telling you that if you keep certain people around, they will...i repeat, they WILL hurt you yet again. lets be frank here my nigga: if she wanted you like she says, she'd have you. if she loved you like she says, you wouldn't have to question it. and, simply put, things will clearly NEVER be as they once were. hell, you two probably wont get back together. so why set yourself up for the okedoke...again.? stop being a dumbass. wake up. she doesnt want you. period. stop being a pessimist with words and a optimist with actions. you're causing your own demise. remain netural, step back, analyze the situation and understand your position. you're the old anomaly in her fresh new life. you're old news to be tossed in the wind like a read newspaper. in the year of Obama, you're 9-11. still monumental but not to be dwelled upon. understand.?"

he understood.

so, yet again, he has undergone change. 

not for anyone but himself.

self preservation is his goal now. the virtue of selfishness as Ayn Rynd taught him.

and his mentality, neutral. 

how else is he to live.?

thus, he embarks on a journey of realism.

in other news, he has begun his book.

it was somewhat post-poned because he didnt know how it would end.

and now, sadly, he does.

it is a bittersweet occasion. he only hopes that his pain can translate into dollar signs.

the filler.

a flustered tarrance sits and thinks to himself late one night, 

"you dont need me. you say you do but the truth is...i'm just an extra in your black book.

if i were to disappear you'd miss me for a while. possibly cry. but we both know its what you want. what do you want.? its not me. it never really was. no matter what you say. me as a person. nah. maybe the smug emotions i have to offer. maybe the soul i so willingly bare. but not me. not Tarrance Bernard Foster II. and in due time, you'll prove to yourself how right i was. how right i've always been. its only a matter of time until you can find someone else to keep your attention. a few weeks. a month maybe. all the while you drag me along on this horrible and annoying ride. and as you've known me to wait before, i dont think my clock is on pause anymore."

he grimaces with disgust and walks away from his mirror

though...it wasn't his own face he stared at.