untitled

they took off my handcuffs and took off my blindfold.

i stood before a dozen men, all with their semi-automatics pointed at me.
i've escaped many a predicament but this was one i hadn't the will, cunning and proper planning to escape this one.

the end had finally come.
but one would not run, nor scream, nor cry, nor whimper.
but i would stand tall. die with my dignity. my pride. my honor.

i stood alone. unbound.

"any last words, commander?"
"i once wrote a speech for this occasion but you aren't the men i expected to be gunning me down."
"humor us."
"you don't deserve it."
a stiff brief silence.

"any words for your family."
"tell my wife, 'mission accomplished.' but if you find her, tell her, 'mission failed.'"

"Take aim!" bastard general.
i pointed roughly and mushed my forehead, telling the traitors where to aim.

"you will remember me."
"FIRE!"



fin.

the perfect ambush.

we knew they were coming.

we didn't know how
we didn't know from where
we didn't know when
we didn't know why.

but we knew they were coming.
standing in a small, circular clearing in, what seemed to be the middle of the forest. we all stood in a loose circle with our weapons ready to fire.

there was nothing but silence.
a silence so silent, we knew something was wrong.
no squirrels. no rustling leaves.
even the wind held its breath.

suddenly, shots were fired and the ground threw dirt where the bullets had landed.
a man fell and more shots came.
it wasn't until our eighth solider fell that we realized that the shots were coming from underground.

"how'd the fuck they do that?"
"who cares?! shoot back!"

we shot. and only hit the ground.

more bullets hit the ground
but these we heard whizzing downward past our heads.
so we shot the skies.
and only hit clouds.

rustles came from the left
so we shot to the left
but got shot at from the right.

rustles came from the right
so we shot right
and got shot at from the left.

our confusion cost us many lives.
until only four of us stood.
we all shot in opposite directions
up, down, left, right.

a few of our enemies wailed in pain.
some fell
but we remained outnumbered .
another fell.

the enemy began to close in.
a bullet hit my shoulder
but i kept shooting. reloading. shooting.
reloadin- another hit my stomach.
i crouched, to reduce the pain and to keep my firing arm steady.

another ally fell.
the last tried firing in every direction in a Rambo type of manner.

"i picked good men."
she fell to a knee. then, fell over again, holding herself up with one arm.

"thank you," i said to her amidst my own gunfire.
"shut up and keep living."
i kept firing.

"La Resistance lives on, sir. Our message was heard. We live."
with her last words came another bullet. i'm not sure where it hit me but it forced me to the ground. i watched my last warrior close her eyes. she held no tears.

again, silence.
then, leaves crunching under a thousand footsteps.
they approached me.
one stooped to look me in the eye.

"how?"
he chuckled, "it won't do you any good in the afterlife."
"then why?"
"an interesting question. because we wanted to."
"just because?"
"just because."
"there is no 'just because' evil. there is no person pure of evil. you must have motives that align with evil.."
he laughed, "i am evil."

i was engulfed by nothingness.

a dream i had

i cock my semi-automatic weapon and nodded at my partner.

the elevator doors open slowly and we take aim.

we creep around the corridors of what seems to be a huge business building.

a man with dreads charges towards us and i do the liberty of stinging him with six pieces of hot led. 

"tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat" was the sound.

i remember thinking, "someone probably heard that. good."

we crept through the rest of the building searching for something and destroying any person that got within  shooting distance.

i was the primary with a MP40 and my partner with a shotgun.

on a certain level of this building, everything was painted black and the ceiling sprinklers were on. a group of individuals, whom, i'm sure, were comrades, were tied and bound to chairs. we freed them and armed them. 

suddenly, an explosion took off half of the wall facing the outside. everyone, except me, panicked. i picked up my gun and fired at whatever i thought would be behind the wall. 

and nothing was there. 

everyone began to huddle, begging for a plan. it looked like cowering to me. 

one comrade, who looked oddly like Janelle Monae (black and white tux and everything) approached me and showed me a piece of paper.

"these are the only ones left," pointing to names on the paper. most were crossed off. "i hear that these two, here, always work together. i was wondering if we could go get them together."

"Sure. that should be fine. if we make it out of here."

she smiled, realized she was smiling, stopped smiling, nodded and walked off talking to herself. planning seemingly. 

shots were fired.

we were being ambushed. 

i ran to the other side of the building where the corridor was. two gunmen were trying to keep us cornered. i fired back pushed them back into the elevator.

turning around, i saw that everyone else was following suit. 

[this is where the dream ends but..]

i gathered my brethren in arms and told them my plan:

"we have enough rope to reach a few floors below us. if we stay here they'll be shooting fish in a barrel and they're probably waiting for us on the other side of those elevator doors. so here we split up. half of us are going down that side of the building. a quarter of us down the other side. the rest through the elevator. we won't all make it and i plan to see some of you in the next life. my goal today isn't to make it out of this building alive but to get you out alive. i suggest you all keep at least one person with you at all times. and die with your finger on the trigger."

like a swinging ton of bricks.

i've been talking about how much things have changed for since i got home. 

but just yesterday did it actually hit me.

i woke up around noonish, for no particular reason. 

got dressed: Donald Trump button-up, Gap cardigan, Gap chincos, Zara trench coat and Aldo shoes. 

mapqusted my destination and departed. my reason for traveling was forced to the back of my mind by the brisk wind hitting my face through my lowered, driver's seat window and the loud, rhythmic sounds of Kings of Leon. 

i stopped at target...and mindlessly picked out two logical and semi-thoughtful gifts.

i continued for an additional 30 mins. i had gotten lost. so i went into a gas station around the area i thought i was supposed to be in and asked for directions. an old and fat white man pointed me in the right direction. [sidenote: i've never seen a problem with stopping and asking for directions. isn't that something men are supposed to hate doing? ]

i sat in my car, ate my two doughnuts and finally let the reason for my appearance fester:

my best friend since high school is pregnant. 

knocked up.

with child.

due any day.

...due any day. 

that means, no more long nights on the city streets. no more of the friendship i used to know. 

its a totally different world. 

i arrived a few minutes late to the baby shower. and the first person i saw was killa (my knocked-up friend). and protruding from her waistline was little Jade, waiting to wreak her havoc into the world.

the rest of the day, i sat in awe.

the only constant in life is: change

hell, my life has changed more in the last two years than most peoples ever will.

but this is a change i wasnt ready for. 

not so much the pregnancy, but knowing that the dynamic of most of my friendships has changed.

friends are moving on. loving, raising kids, living other lives. 

i was in such a rush to leave a life i had just established that i didn't think that coming back to the life i left would be so different. 

im not sure if im supposed to leave these friends where they are and find new ones or try to fight my way back into their lives. 

(as if fighting for friendship is really an option -_-)

i didnt count on things being so different

i didnt count on everything changing

i left vegas to come home. then got home and found myself homeless.