un-repressed

years, its been, since i stopped using my basic cancerian trait: le emotion
logic has been the path i have chosen for all the logical reasons.

reasons that i have begun to question

maybe i have grown weak. maybe, in the end, solitude simply isnt enough.
maybe recent, now almost-regrettable, events sparked a fire that the NYFD couldnt extinguish.
i dont know.
i have recently enjoyed the calming effect of waking up next to another.
and i have recently come to the conclusion that it is something i'd like to get used to.

this isnt new information.
i've always known this, so why are we revisiting the topic now?

i dont know

i was close to a relationship
but, God took the young lady from me.
now, i would never tell someone to give up their religion for my sake
but you havent known real shame until religion steals your chick.

"you're nice and all but you're not holy enough."

still, not a first but it cut a little deeper this time.
a lot deeper, honestly.

love is such an elusive element
like a rare pokemon
just when you stop looking, it appears
and just when you're about to catch it, it runs off
or dies.

im really a failure at things emotional
and it'll probably be that way for the next dozen valentine's days.

maybe cupid can hit one of my books with his arrow.