streetlights.

i had so many thoughts earlier.
so many painful words to type.
so much to fill you in on.

but its all gone now...so you'll have to accept the short version.

this is...well was Shanika's spring break.
a year ago today, we met...remet rather. she came home this week and i've seen her everyday. called off of work and damn near skipped class to give her every waking moment of my life.

shopped. ate. sex. got another tattoo. shopped. went broke. and shopped.

but like all good things, you know the cliche.

and the ending always sucks.

in less than twentyfour hours, she will be back in mississippi and i will struggle against the distance once again.
but its different now.
before it was: "i understand you have to go, im not mad and i'll be here when you come back."
then: "yes its hard and it hurts but i support you so i'll wait."
later: " i know, i know, just come back."
but now...im angry. im pissed. im tired of being left. im tired of having my happiness arrive on cp time. its some bullshit. and i hate it. and to add insult to injury, shes going even further for even longer next semester....

as i watched her drive away at 2:1o this morning...a thought came to me. a horrible thought...that might be an even worse revelation...