a new start.

so.
they say God works in mysterious ways. maybe this is true.

maybe i had to lose everything to consider this:
i have a friend who wants to set me up with a job in florida.
of course, if i get the job(s) orlando will be my new place of residence.
that means letting go of everything that i've grown fond of.
this city. these people. this love.

but.
i need to be a man.
i need to get out on my own.
gain my independence.
fight on my own.
and, for once, fight for myself.
and no one else.

maybe in the midst of doing that i can kill my insecurities.
and maybe...just maybe...

its hard to say goodbye.
but maybe i need to.

maybe its time to walk away from all that i know.
its what i'm used to. i've done it so much that its no big deal.
but...with a few things leaving too...whats left to keep me here.

so like i said.
maybe its a good thing that everything has been stripped from me.
had everything still been intact i'd probably be reluctant to go.
like i was with the air force...

but maybe this
this new start...maybe it'll do something positive.

what do i have to lose.?
i'm rambling.